Day 14 - Peace and Family

Today was a quiet day; no milestones, no events of great importance, no strange or quirky stories to tell. Just a quiet day with my family, making good food choices and getting some exercise by walking a few laps around the local mall. While I was there, I did notice something different in myself which makes me smile. I realized that the ever-present temptations no longer hold power over me or at least to the extent they once did. Talk about relief! Whew!

Malls are difficult places to be when you're hungry, tired, bored, pms-ing, not in a good mood, etc. Especially if you have money. Even a few dollars can wreck a good game plan if you let them. All of the food court selections giving away free samples, the scent of sweet, yummy cinnamon rolls from the Cinnabon outlet upstairs just as you're getting off the elevator, the Auntie Annie's pretzels as you turn the corner of your third lap... At every turn, you're bombarded by food, food, and more food. Before, I may have stopped at one or two (or more) of these spots in a single trip. They could entice me like no other store could with their promise of delightful and decadent joy. For a small fee, I could be happy for a short time and forget all of my troubles. "Come on," they seemed to say, "Come be happy! It's just a cinnamon roll. It won't hurt you." and I would believe them. I would sit there alone and eat my roll, extra icing and all, using that sweet delicious doughy concoction to fill an emotional void of one kind or another, hoping I wouldn't feel too guilty afterwards. I always did. Soon enough, the cycle would repeat itself, seemingly endless... until now.

This past year, I made a vow to not give up on myself; to start working on becoming the person I wanted to be. Two weeks ago, I committed to turning the weight loss aspect of that dream into a reality. I am putting this commitment, this goal into the public eye for all to see as a way to stay accountable to myself, my family, and all those who believe in me. I know now that I can make it. The work will be hard, the time will be long, and obstacles will continue to rear their ugly heads, but it's ok. No food or lazy day will ever feel as good as achieving my goals, as turning my dreams into my reality.

Sorry, poor 18-point Cinnabon cinnamon roll. We are no longer friends. You cannot and will not ever be the desperate source of my happiness again. The 813 calories, 32 grams of fat, and measly 4 grams of fiber you offer just has no place in my world and I'm good with that.

The mall today offered me a way to get some exercise with my family instead of a place I could eat goodies I normally wouldn't buy. I find freedom while walking those corridors now instead of stress. I feel empowered, in control, and content to be there alone or with my family, knowing I am stronger than any food impulse or urge to splurge. The choices are all up to me and I know what will truly make me happy in both the short term and the long run. I know and knowing is half the battle. ;) The other half is doing which will be my focus tomorrow as Tuesday is Weigh In Day. First up, my Weight Watchers meeting, then a good workout at the gym. I'm looking forward to both!

Thank you for your support these past 2 weeks. It has meant the world to me and I hope to never disappoint you. :)

~H