Day 58 - Because Breakfast Is So Important...!

First, I have to confess that I just wasn't focused yesterday. I tried... oh, I how I did... but in the end, I just didn't make the best of choices all day. Still, I did manage to convince myself to drink as much water as I could...

That's me in my new sundress (small-cut xxl!) at our local college theater performance of Rent. It was an amazing show! During the intermission, they were selling cups of ice cream for $1. Oh, the temptation!! But then I saw how perfectly I fit into this dress (cotton, full-length, Grecian-style) and realized that not long ago, there's no way I could fit into a dress like this. It's long and only flowy at the bottom. Pretty straight up and down through the body and hips... and I fit into it!! No ice cream for me! Just another bottle of water and the choice felt great!

So, this morning, even with my busy schedule, I'm making sure to start the day off right with a great breakfast. Doesn't look like much in this pic, but it's a powerhouse of goodness!

2 cups of sliced veggies (mushrooms, spinach, cherry tomatoes, and a little green onion)[0] with a 1/4c Egg Beaters [1], a cup of Silk Almond Milk [1], and a Weight Watchers yogurt (Amaretto Cream) [1] with 1/2c Fiber One [0], 1/2c fresh blueberries [0.5], and 1/4c of the best low fat, no sugar added granola [2] I've ever found!

Total point value for the meal = 5.5
Total Good Health Guidelines met: 4 fruit/veggies, 2 milk, whole grain, 1 protein.

Oh yeah, good start indeed!

Be sure that I'm going to have a bottle of water next to me at all times today as I work on this weekend's cake orders, drinking my 67+oz by the time I head out for my friend's birthday party tonight. It's at a bar, so I need to be hydrated and full before I take one step out the door. I'm determined to make some great healthy choices today and make this week fantastic! I want to go into my vacation next week with a loss on the scale and the confidence I get from my good weeks. I know it's not a matter of luck. It's a matter of personal responsibility and only I can control my actions, my choices. That's what I'm going to do! :)

On a quick side note, I'm sending out birthday wishes to my darling son! I decided to become a mom, but God decided to send me an angel; a handsome and brilliant one at that. I have been blessed in so many ways by his presence in my life and am forever grateful. Happy birthday, baby. Thank you for letting me be your mom. :)

Till next time, dear friends! Stay strong, stay positive, stay you. :)

~Heather

Day 56 - Versatile Blogger Award and Challenge Updates

Weigh In Day today. I did show a slight gain which was not unexpected. Now, repeat after me... I will not eat salty chips the night before weigh in...  I will not eat salty chips the night before weigh in...

The next several days are going to be busy for me and I'm not sure if I'll be able to post much. It seems that the Mario cake I posted pics of on Saturday caused quite a stir and I am in the process of baking not one... not two... but three cakes! Two for friends and one for my own wonderful son. :) I am very excited to be granted the opportunity to make some very lucky people happy!

If you're interested in seeing more pictures of my cakes, check out my other blog... Raintree Cakes.

Ok, on to the Updates and Award!

Last week, Deb at Deb Will Be Free awarded me the Versatile Blogger Award. I am at once humbled and giddy with excitement over this! It seems The Versatile Blogger Award has the following conditions, so I will try to meet them below:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award: Again, a huge THANK YOU to Deb for passing this on to me!

2. Share seven things about yourself: Let's see...

- I have lived in six different states, Illinois being the longest stretch of time (21 years).

- I was previously married for 8 years.

- I love mixing milk and Coca Cola a la Laverne on Laverne and Shirley (which I used to watch all the time growing up).

- The only band I've ever obsessed about was Duran Duran. When I was young (in the 80s), I knew just about anything you could think of about the band. I didn't get to see them in concert until 2006.

- I won my first car in my high school graduation raffle; turquoise 1976 Monte Carlo with gray fake fur bench seats and hot pink pinstripe down the side. V8 monster of a car! My mom said the only thing she felt good about me having my own car was that I was surrounded by steel and would probably plow through anything I might hit.

- I used to be a theater geek; from very early in my life till college. I miss it...

- I love the ocean, especially in the Pacific Northwest!

3. Nominate fifteen newly discovered blogs: Wow... I'm so new at this myself, but I'll try and seek out as many new blogs as I can. Guess I need to get reading. :)

4. Let your nominees know about the award: As I send out the award, I'll be letting them know!

-------------------------------------------------------

Freedom Challenge & PEWC Update (see #4 for PEWC)

My Goals:

1) To do some kind of organized exercise at least 4 days a week (gym, walking trails, video, etc.)
Mission accomplished! 3 days in the gym and 1 in my friends' pool = 30 activity points!

2) To work on one project on my To Do List per week.
Wow, this was so easy to do as my To Do list just grew 10-fold! Yep, this one is good. :)


3) To get a minimum of 6 hrs of sleep per night, especially during the week.
Only about half of the week. I'm beginning to wonder how feasible this is for me right now. Still, I'm going to keep trying.


4) To drink 2 liters of plain water per day, regardless of any other drinks I imbibe.
This was the first week I didn't finish this (by one day). I'm bound and determined to keep this up as the effects have been amazing!


5) To have 4 new "food adventures" during the challenge time period. This could include trying a new restaurant, making a new recipe, trying never-before-used ingredients, etc.
I tried a new muffin recipe today... apple-carrot spice. So yummy and so very healthy! Only 2 points per muffin. Even better is the fact that my very picky son liked them too. :) 2 of 4 complete!


So, there we are for another Tuesday. I'll try and post as much as I can over the next several days during the mad flurry of cake decorating. Then, one more weigh in before VACATION!! :) :) More about that later.

Keep making each choice count and never give up! I believe in you!

~Heather

Day 53 - How I Spent My Saturday

As I have completed all three Wilton cake decorating classes and now have an abundance of cake decorating gear, I am starting to convince my friends that having me make their birthday cakes is a great idea. "Better than the local Walmart bakery" is my current tag line. I mean, come on! I have so much stuff and spent a small fortune on all of the gadgets, gizmos, and edible materials that I have to do something with them, if to justify having spent all of the cash I did. So, tomorrow, my family and I are headed to one of my son's friend's birthday party with a cake in hand. The lucky kid is turning 6 and is in love with all things Super Mario Galaxy (as in Super Mario Bros. of Nintendo fame). 2 hours of baking and 6 1/2 hours of assembly and decorating. Everything you see (except the silver cardboard base) is edible...

My mom and I make a quick stop at our local Greek Fest celebration before I started assembling the cake, so I wasn't tempted in the slightest to munch on any part of the cake, icing, or decorations. Good thing too! Waaaaayy too many points!

I hope you'll forgive me this short post today. I'm exhausted... very, very happy, but exhausted. In the next few days, I'll finish my Versatile Blogger Award requirements (I haven't forgotten, I promise!), some more insightful thoughts, and I'm sure a few more pics of the cake. The four layers inside are divided by red, yellow, and blue icing which should look amazing. :)

Until then, my dear friends, I'm off to catch up on some mindless TV and find a healthy bite to eat... and finish getting in my 64oz of water for my challenges... nope, didn't forget that either. :)

Don't give up! I believe in you! :)
~Heather

Day 52 - Food Struggles of an Emotional Eater

I know I had at least 3 great blogs written in my head over the course of today... witty, intelligent, insightful... and here I am, sitting in front of my trusty notebook laptop and they've gone completely out the window.

... le sigh...

It's been a tough day, dear readers. While not going into specifics, the news my family and I have been waiting for came through, but not the way we wanted it... the way we needed it... to be. This was a bad financial blow for us, one that scares us quite a bit. But, we're fighters. We're survivors. This isn't the end; just changes the math a little.

But you're not here for that and I'm not going to end my night on a negative note. Nope, for today's post is a positive one.

No, really. It is. Just hang in there with me. You'll see... :)

I am an emotional eater. Always have been. Probably always will be. I do not fall into that 1% of people who, when depressed, stressed, or very emotional in some way, will forget to eat or turn away from food. If you're one of those lucky individuals, congratulations! You'll find the rest of us noshing down at the local buffet table waiting for the Old Spice guy to stroll in and distract us. Cheese cubes? What cheese cubes, Old Spice guy? Come'ere and teach me all about what my man can smell like. Mmmmm... ;)

He's on a horse...

Er... tangent... sorry. Anyway, the difference between my emotional eating "then" and my emotional eating "now" are my choices and not just the ones regarding food. I'm talking about the choice to take responsibility for what, when, where, and how I eat. The choice of how long I allow myself to stand in front of the fridge or at the kitchen counter, just mindlessly eating whatever is in front of me, if I allow it at all. The choice of not tracking my points when I know the numbers may not be what I want them to be.

Even the choice of mindset... Do I allow that nasty little voice in head to beat me up after having that second (or third or fourth) serving of fried rice or piece of cake? Do I let it try to wipe away all memory of my past success? Do I allow myself to feel like a failure (the "I should just give up" voice) instead of learning from the moment and moving on?

These are all choices. Not easy ones to be sure, but choices nonetheless.

Today, I ran into these choices head on. It's been a little while since I've had to deal with them, so it took me a short time to recognize what was going on. When I did finally see the familiar pattern emerging once again, it still took a conscious effort for me to regroup. This was tough!

I had heard the news in the early afternoon, so I had that pit in my stomach sitting there for a few hours. I had indulged in a low fat hot dog (with whole wheat bun) and a serving of potato chips for lunch. I even threw in a cup of cut veggies as an afterthought. Not much of a lunch, but it was my emotional side kicking in, wanting the fatty, salty promise of momentary happiness. It worked for a brief time and I did log the points. Still, it took a good deal of effort to not graze my way through the kitchen. Instead, I called some friends and arranged a spontaneous playdate that would last until dinner time.

For the record, I had a large bottle of water while at the play place and resisted the urge for any snacking. Yay me! :)

Before heading home, my son was quite the cranky-pants, so we stopped at McDonalds. Now, I had every intention of just redeeming my free small fruit smoothie coupon and grabbing him a cheeseburger Happy Meal (with the apple slices and low fat milk)... and I did that... and also bought a grilled chicken sandwich.

I couldn't tell you why I did that. I didn't have a taste for it. I was a little hungry, but I had already planned out my dinner. Literally, as soon as the employee put the box on my tray, I looked at it, asking myself "Why did you get this?" I had no answer. I even thought about putting the box in the Happy Meal bag and taking it home for someone to eat later. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Not today...

No, today I ate "just a few bites"... then a few bites more, all the while complaining to myself that I didn't even remember to ask McDs to hold the mayo. Next thing I knew, one grilled chicken sandwich (and 9 points) were history. Now if I had stopped my emotional eating there, I would have felt much better. I was still well within my points for the day and could easily round out my evening with a great salad or baked potato... something with veggies and fruit. Heck, even cereal with bananas and blueberries would have worked. What I didn't know was that the temptations of the day weren't done with me yet...

Mom ordered Chinese for dinner. Oh boy...

I came home to egg rolls, crab rangoons, tofu with vegetables, sesame chicken, hot and sour soup, fried wonton strips, combination fried rice, and fortune cookies. Temp-ta-tions!!

Now, if I had been in a more secure state of mind, I would have carefully measured out some soup and tofu with veggies. Maybe even indulged in a single rangoon. But that little voice calling from the pit in my stomach was still in charge, so some fried rice, an egg roll with sweet-n-sour sauce, a crab rangoon, and most of the fried wonton strips went onto my plate and into my belly.

Hey, Heather, you said this was a positive post. Where's the positive in your overeating? I'm almost there. Keep your pantyhose on. Sheesh!

While I stood there at the kitchen counter, gobbling all of this down and starting to reach for more, I realized two things:
- First, that I had only taken ONE rangoon, not all three that were in the container. I had taken ONE egg roll (out of 4) and ONE 1Tbs package of sauce. I had only taken a little over a half cup of fried rice (container held a large sized portion) and I had not finished the small package of wontons. Basically, my silver lining was that I ate very little compared to what I would have chosen before I committed myself to losing weight and becoming healthier. Unconsciously, I had made a decision to keep myself on this path, even when I wasn't consciously controlling my food intake. It has become too much of a habit!

- The second realization came shortly after the first one. When Point #1 sunk into my thick skull, I was able to see the situation clearly and walk away. My need to fill a painful void with food was gone.. well, enough that I could look at the box of rice and the bag of egg rolls and say "Nope, I'm good. I don't need you. You are not what will help me feel better." This hearkens back to Day 2 for me: Food does not equal Happiness/Love/Acceptance. Instead, I made a zero point cup of sugar free hot chocolate with a little fat free Reddi Wip, grabbed the rest of my water (got my 67oz in today!), and headed upstairs to color my hair and snuggle into bed.

Coloring my hair makes me feel all girlie :) "I'm gonna wash that gray right outta my hair..." *hums*

On second thought... maybe the coloring can wait... ;)

End result for today? All daily points used plus 12 weekly points which I had been saving for the weekend. Guess I need to hit the gym and work on racking up some extra activity points!

Overall, I close out today with a renewed sense of conscious awareness regarding my emotional eating habits... or, in smaller words... I now remember that I eat a lot when I'm upset. :) I'm again reminded of how powerful some emotional triggers are for me and how I must always be on alert for them in the future. Seems tough... it is... but it's not an impossible obstacle to overcome. It takes time, patience and (especially) kindness with yourself. Don't hate or beat yourself up over days like these. They will happen, no doubt when you least want them to. It's OK!! It's not that you made the decision (or lack thereof) in the first place. It's about what choices you make once you recognize what you've done. Where do you go from that point? What is your next choice?

My next choice is to get some sleep, knowing that tomorrow is another day with another 30 points to spend. A new day with new choices and another chance to take one more step forward on this path. Now if I could just get an implant that can record thoughts. Would make this blogging thing so much easier...!

All my best, dear friends!

~H.

Day 51 - My 1st Award and Taking the Night Off

Greetings my wonderful readers! While I am taking tonight off from blogging (laundry and movie with my mom), I did want to send a huge thank you to Deb at Deb Will Be Free for bestowing upon me my first blogging award! Totally unexpected, but I love it!!

So, without further ado...

Deb... THANK YOU!!! :)

... and now for the award...

Squee!! My first award!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful day today and that tomorrow is even better! Just remember, it's not a matter of being perfect. It's a matter of just making one good choice at a time. Celebrate the healthy ones. Don't beat yourself up over the bad ones. You can do this!! :)

~H.

Day 50 - SV + NSV = GR8!

Wow, soooo much info to cover! Where to start? Hmmm...  Forgive me if this post rambles a little or runs long. I'll try to keep my giddiness in check over today's events. Might be a tad hard though. :)

First off... my doctor's appointment yesterday regarding the pain in my left heel.

A little recap... About a month ago, I started the Couch-to-5K running program, only to be sidelined pretty quickly with severe pain in my left heel. While I am able to walk without much issue, any kind of running (even very short bursts) makes the pain flare up with a vengeance. As the ability to run is a top goal of mine, this was extremely disappointing. Still, I know better than to push myself without knowing all of the facts. I felt a trip to the doctor before trying to continue was necessary.

At the appointment, the nurse was absolutely wonderful! I received some great early feedback on my foot pain (she had dealt with it herself and is now able to run 4 miles a day). Then, when she took my vitals, she told me my blood pressure and pulse were right on! Woohoo! NSV #1 right there! Then she took my weight. All I can say is I cried just a smidge in the car later... just a tear or two of happiness. The last time I was weighed in a doctor's office, they had to put that large weight over to 250 and the small weight nearly off the bar. No longer! That large weight was at 200 and the little weight didn't need to move past the halfway point on the bar. Since I only track my official weekly weigh in (more on this later or see my sidebar), I won't reveal what it said. It was just another NSV (#2) for me. :)

The doctor examined my feet, asked some questions, and gave me a preliminary diagnosis of plantar fasciitis. She took some xrays and gave me a prescription for any pain I may experience. I should hear back sometime in the next few days on what, if any, kind of bone spur I may have and any specific types of treatment she wants me to focus on.

In terms of re-starting the C25K program, I have decided to wait off until I lose some more weight. It turns out that the force exerted by the body on the feet when you run is approximately 8x your weight. That is a tremendous amount of force and pressure on my joints and feet. So, I am temporarily holding off until I lose a bit more. My thought... sometime after I get below 200lbs later this year.

Next, today's weigh in...

Today was Weigh In Day for me at Weight Watchers. I felt good going in, pretty sure the scale was going to show a loss. I had been tracking everything, had tried to keep my sodium a bit more in check, and had a ton of activity points from both the gym visits and all of the swimming with my friends. I was feeling confident. But, as I've learned from past experiences, a good week doesn't guarantee a good weigh in, so I was still a little nervous. Turns out I didn't need to be. I lost a solid 3lbs this week! 3lbs is phenomenal!! I will admit to a couple of arm pumps and a brief Snoopy-type dance, but that's all. :)  Scale Victory!

NSV #3 came this morning at breakfast. I was standing in front of the fridge trying to decide what I wanted to eat. I was tired (son woke up quite early since he wasn't feeling well) and hungry and craving something not quite healthy. I was trying to decide between my mom's homemade enchiladas (not low calorie in the slightest), the last serving of fruit cobbler (which would have required ice cream), or turkey chili-smothered hash browns.

Like I said, healthy wasn't cutting it right then. Too boring... too "been-there-done-that"...

Then I put my hands on my hips... and felt them there, plain as day!

When I say "I felt them," I mean I actually felt the strong, smooth contours of my actual hip bone. No fatty deposits to squish down, no cellulite or rolls to move aside. I felt my hips!! They were the hips of a skinny girl... and they were mine!

O... M... G...!

What to eat for breakfast became a really easy decision: Egg Beaters with sauteed veggies, a Weight Watchers yogurt with fresh blackberries, half of a low fat whole wheat english muffin with a little light butter and honey, and a cup of almond milk. 4.5 points. Best tasting breakfast ever!

I have been feeling my hip bone all day, probably from shock. Kind of like pinching yourself to make sure it's not a dream. Maybe I just want to make sure those lovely hips are still there and that I wasn't fooling myself.

Nah... still there... still mine. :)

Oh, I did end up having a small serving of enchiladas, just for dinner with a large spinach salad and water. Worth every point. Soooo good!

As my weeks run from Tuesday to Monday, that means it's time for my Challenge Updates!!

I am currently participating in two challenges: the Freedom Challenge sponsored by Deb at Deb Will Be FREE and the Positive Effects Water Challenge (PEWC) sponsored by Kenz at All The Weigh and Sean at The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser.

First, my Freedom Challenge goals:

1) To do some kind of organized exercise at least 4 days a week (gym, walking trails, video, etc.)
Easily done this week. I had two great workouts at the gym, then had two barbecues at a friends' home. They have a large above-ground pool that I took full advantage of. Whenever I was in the pool, I didn't stop moving. Swam until my body was exhausted and my mind was at peace. Only downside to this is I don't have a pool to use on a regular basis at the moment and I LOVE to swim! Makes me all the more determined to find a way to pay for my old gym membership again... somehow. They have 3 pools, one solely for laps (which is my exercise of choice). I'm praying for good financial news in the next few weeks. While I won't go into specifics, if all goes well, I'll be back there in no time!


2) To work on one project on my To Do List per week.
I have been able to get a couple of more items checked off my list this week. Not as many as last week, but still moving forward on this.


3) To get a minimum of 6 hrs of sleep per night, especially during the week.
Ouch! This is where I didn't do too well. So much to do, not nearly enough time to get everything done. As my son needs most of my attention during the day (see Day 24 for more details), my "me" time begins after he's in bed, generally around 8:30-9-ish. Doesn't leave much time for reading, writing, commenting, emailing, etc. I do my best, but some days I just live off of 4 hours of sleep or so. Still, I manage for the few days I need to, catch up on sleep on the weekends, grab naps when I can and love doing everything I do. :)


4) To drink 2 liters of plain water per day, regardless of any other drinks I imbibe.
More on this in a bit...


5) To have 4 new "food adventures" during the challenge time period. This could include trying a new restaurant, making a new recipe, trying never-before-used ingredients, etc.
I can now say I have 1 of 4 done! This past week, I went shopping with a good friend on mine. While we were out, we decided we needed to try the new Vietnamese restaurant near my house. Now, I have never had Vietnamese food before and many of my friends were raving about this place. Sounded like a good choice to me. Oh boy, was it ever! Soooo yummy! So healthy! So "I-have-to-go-back-asap-with-hubby" kind of good! I learned about pho (rice noodle soup with fresh veggies & your choice of protein [tofu, chicken, beef] in broth) and had the best spring rolls of my life! The whole meal (1 spring roll, 1 "small" bowl of pho, 10oz diet cola, and 10oz water) came to 6 points. Inexpensive and delicious!

(I use the term "small" loosely for the portion was a normal-sized portion. The restaurant called it a small. Their regular size could feed 2-3 people!)

Ok, back to Goal #4 - Drinking 2 liters of plain water (67oz) each day. This goal is also the same goal as the Positive Effects Water Challenge, so my final water count goes towards both challenges.

Can I just say I feel like I rocked this? Yeah, I did! :) I didn't miss a single day and, let me tell you, the effects are insanely good!

Before starting on this goal, I had been following the WW guideline of getting in 6 cups of liquid per day. Absolutely a good idea, but I was using a lot of sugar free drink mixes to help with that. Rarely would I drink just plain, unflavored water. I had also been feeling very lethargic, very muddle-headed for quite some time. I couldn't figure out why. I was eating better... watching my portions and choices. I was getting in my required lean proteins, liquids, milk, etc. Still, I felt like I was missing something... some part of the equation. Where was the energy boost? Where was the renewed vigor?

I did know that I felt better when I worked out, but I thought that was because of the activity. It never occurred to me that during my workouts, I drink at least a good 20oz or more of plain H2O. It seems like such an easy correlation, but, if you had asked me just a couple of weeks ago, I would not have seen it.

I call it my "D'oh!" moment. :)

So, here we are... two weeks into the Freedom Challenge and one week into the PEWC. I have been drinking between 67oz (2 liters) and 110oz per day... plain, clean, clear water... in addition to whatever else I may drink (coffee, tea, soda, milk, sugar free drink mix with water). The effects are amazing!!!

I feel energetic! I feel the vigor! I am more alert, think more clearly, and eat less! I am more satisfied with what I do eat and stay satiated longer. I am able to push myself harder during my workouts. I even sleep more soundly! I truly believe that my drinking more water helped me to flush sodium out of my body and led to me losing those 3 lbs.

How can you argue with results like this?! I'm not. I think I'll keep going with this goal. :)

Yikes, this post is long! If you made it this far, then I thank you. You're either very kind or very bored. Either way, you're here and I am always humbled and grateful for that. You, dear readers, are an amazing bunch... and I better stop there before I go all Sally Field on you. ;)

 Until next time, dear readers.... dear friends. Believe in yourself and there is nothing you can't accomplish!

~H.

Day 49 - Swimming and End of My Week

I've been very active this past week... lots of swimming with friends, gym visits, tracking everything I've eaten... so I'm going to wait until tomorrow to post my challenge updates along with my regular Tuesday weigh in. I have a feeling that tomorrow's numbers will be great! At least I hope so...

No matter what happens, I know I'm going in a good direction. The way my new clothes are fitting... they're already getting loose!! I'm fitting into a size 18 for the first time in 17 years (I was 20!) and I'm getting some wonderful complements from friends and family. I'm feeling healthy and in control. These are successes you can't buy, my dear readers.

No DVD, no weight loss system, no exercise equipment can provide this for you. This comes from within, from an iron-clad commitment to becoming healthy. It took me years for this to "click" in my mind and I am soooo glad it finally did!

I will need to expand upon this topic more at a later time. For now, my dear readers, may you find your inner motivation, your inner peace and happiness, your inner commitment. I believe you can do it! :)

~H.

Day 48 - Tools of the Trade

When I was out shopping at the mall on Friday, I came across the local GNC store. Turns out they're having a sale on those wonderful reusable water bottles for only $5! As I'm on a pretty tight budget, that was a perfect price! So, looking over my options... red, black, or white... I chose this one:

I love the look of it! For me, it's very motivating to be reminded of all of the ways I can get in some activity. It also reminds me of the great choices I'm making every day and that the more I work at it, the better I'm going to be, both in the short and long term.

Thinking about this newest item made me look at the rest of my "tools", my "weapons of choice" in this "battle of the bulge." What other items did I use on a regular basis to help me in my pursuit of health and weight loss? I narrowed it down to 3 essentials:

This is my Weight Watchers Scale, my 1/2c measuring cup and my 1TBS measuring spoon. If I had nothing else, I could measure everything I needed with just these three items. They are my absolute musts in the kitchen! I use them every day. They help keep me on track better than any other gadgets I have... and boy, do I have a lot of gadgets. There's just something about kitchen gadgets I love! Oh, and cookbooks. I'm a cookbook-collecting fiend, much to my family's chagrin. :)

 I would love to hear about your weight loss essentials! What helps keep you on track? What items can you not live without? What items would you recommend?

Until next time, dear readers :)
~H.

Day 46 - Water Water Everywhere!

Before I get into my main chunk of my blog, I have to share this amazing breakfast I enjoyed this morning with you...

This is a big breakfast for me, but sooooo delicious! Three low-fat, higher fiber blueberry pancakes (6pts) with sugar free syrup (0) and extra blueberries (0.5) on top, a fresh broccoli (0) and cheese (1) egg substitute (1) omelet, a cup of almond milk (1) and my first 1-liter bottle of water (0) for today. Total Weight Watchers points = 9.5.

I usually like to keep my breakfast points to 8 or less, but today I was in need of a hearty meal. Yesterday had ended with me and several friends in the pool at an impromptu barbecue, but it was the culmination of a busy and NSV rewarding day.

After waking up very early with my son (as a favor to the hubby), I grabbed a light breakfast and took a quick nap before heading to my friend Trina's house for a clothes swap. Both of us have been losing weight over the past year and now we were in need of some smaller sizes; a big boost with the motivation and self-esteem! 

She is down to a size 16, while I'm thisclose to an 18. Heck, I may be there already, but just don't know it yet. I'll admit... I'm a bit scared to see that number on all my clothes. Why? Because, surprisingly enough, I've discovered that reaching goals that seemed like pipe dreams years ago... even only a few months ago... is stressful. The pressure to make the goal is one thing. The pressure to maintain that goal (or even move past it) is a different beast altogether. The former involves struggle, challenge, and hope while the later involves fear; fear of getting to goal only to lose your momentum. Fear of regaining all of the weight you struggled to lose. Fear of failing... again... Truly a challenge I never expected to have. 

I ended up with 2 large bags of "new", smaller clothes that I am very much looking forward to wearing. This included a size 18/20 2-piece swimsuit. Both of those facts are significant to me; the size (as I stated above) is lower than anything I've worn in nearly 18 years and the fact that it's a 2-piece. Yes, it's one of those tankinis that's become so popular the last few years, but still... it's a 2-piece! I haven't worn a 2-piece bathing suit since I was a child! Not even during my pre-teen or teen years did I feel comfortable in a 2-piece of any kind. I was a young kid when I wore my last one and that wasn't even a bathing suit. It was a set of Supergirl Underoos that I loved. Yeah, I know, I'm a geek. :)

 

my "new" 2-piece tankini

Trina and I celebrated by trying out a new restaurant called PHO Square. It's a lovely little Vietnamese place near my house and boy, all I can say is WOW! Sooooo gooooood!!! I've never had Vietnamese food before and now I think I'm spoiled. We shared some fresh Spring Rolls (2 per order) with a little hoisen sauce (avoiding the peanut sauce completely), then each of us dove into a small order of Veggie Pho. I now know that pho is a rice noodle soup. The Veggie Pho I had was full of noodles, vegetables, perfectly cooked tofu, and fresh herbs. Oh... My... Goodness! Even on a hot day, this was perfect! I enjoyed a small Diet Pepsi, then switched to water for the rest of the meal. I will be going back very soon, hopefully taking the hubby with so I can get him hooked as well. :)

We then went to the mall to window shop and get some air-conditioned walking in. I can proudly say I didn't crave a single food item while I was there. I was full of pho and water (had finished my first liter on the way) and was able to enjoy the shopping and company instead of trying to decide where to eat next. Love it!!

After dropping Trina off, I headed to Monkey Joe's (local kiddie play place) to catch up with hubby, son, and mother-in-law before heading to the grocery store. Turns out earlier in the day my son played ninja and hijacked a cupcake from a party that was there . He was so proud that he could tell my horrified MIL what a cupcake was before plunging it into his mouth that I just had to laugh when I heard the story. He is really starting to communicate with words so much more. Makes my heart sing every time he does, even when he's being naughty. (see Day 24 for background on this)

Grocery shopping has become much more fun (and a longer process) than it was before I started down this weight loss path. I am a fanatical label reader, both from a health and from a mom perspective. I want healthy items within arms reach at home as much as possible; no sugar cereals, no candy, no junk food disguising themselves as "health foods"... I want healthy, but within my budget. It's a real balancing act sometimes, but I see it as a challenge and well worth all the effort. 

While I was at the store, I received a phone call from Trina, asking if the family and I wanted to join some friends for a BBQ and some swimming. Well, I hadn't been to the gym yet and I do so love to swim, so I agreed and, after being passed around the room, figured out what I needed to bring with for dinner. I chose some Johnsonville smoked sausages (Turkey with Cheddar - 3pts and Chili Cheese - 6pts), some Hebrew National 97% Fat Free All Beef hot dogs (1) and some Healthy Life Whole Wheat hot dog buns (1). A good mix for the masses. :)

Hubby and I headed over around 7:30pm (Mom watched the little guy at home) and we spent the next several hours eating low-fat Kettle chips (3pts per oz), hot dogs, and sausages, and swimming. Lots and lots of swimming. Did you know that 3 hours of leisurely swimming gives you 13 activity points? That's a lot of fat-burning fun!

By the end of the night, I had consumed 3oz chips, 1 hot dog, 1 sausage and was utterly exhausted from swimming. I had finished 2 liters of water during the day and had wiped out a liter of water with Crystal Lite while at the BBQ. I came home and had a large salad (1pt for dressing), 1/2c blackberries (0.5) some more water, and a serving of low fat sugar free Peanut Butter Fudge ice cream (2). Since I had all of my Weekly Points available, I had no problem indulging just a smidge. :)

All in all, an amazing day! Great food, great friends, great activity! When I finally laid my head on my pillow, I do believe I fell asleep smiling. It was wonderful to feel so complete and positive! Between my water intake and all of the activity, I slept so soundly, I'm not sure a fire alarm could have awoken me. Very glad one didn't try. :)

I could go on, but this post is already quite long. So, I will sign off here, wishing each of you the same type of blessings I have received. My best to each of you, dear readers!

Until next time...

~H.

Day 44 - Ultimate Bad Craving Food Solved!

Ok, this is going to be a short post, but I just -had- to share this with all of you. Today I discovered the answer to a food craving... nay, obsession... that I have been struggling with for many years. To me, this dish is ambrosia itself!

Well, second only to fresh pineapple, but you get my point.

It's one of my worst weaknesses and also one of the worst foods (calories, fat, points) that I crave. Battered, deep-fried, sweetened, served with an even sweeter, more sugar-laden sauce. Oh, devilish temptress of the sea, my soul and taste-buds are yours, for you are Coconut Shrimp and I am your slave...

...or should I say I -was- your slave for now I have conquered you with a recipe I found on Weight Watchers eTools. A couple of minor tweaks here and there (without any change in points) and I can have you for dinner once again! This time without guilt or damage to my increasingly girlish figure. ;)

The original recipe was for an appetizer portion (3 pieces of shrimp) for 1 point. 1 point for coconut shrimp!!!  Oooo, I'm so excited to share this recipe!

Even with my modifications, the points values have not changed from the original.

1/4c fat free skim milk
3TBS all purpose flour
1/2c sweetened coconut flakes
1/3c plain Panko breadcrumbs (can also use crushed cornflakes as in the original recipe)
30 medium shrimp, peeled and de-veined (tails may be left on or removed)

-Preheat over to 450 degrees. Spray large jelly-roll pan (or two smaller cooking trays) with non-stick spray.
-Whisk together the flour and milk. Add shrimp and toss to coat.
-Place coconut and Panko (or cornflake crumbs) in a large zip-close bag. Shake to mix.
-Place a few shrimp at a time inside the bag. Shake to coat shrimp, then place on tray(s) in a single layer.
-Lightly spray coated shrimp with non-stick spray and place tray(s) in oven.
-Bake until shrimp are golden on the outside and opaque on the inside, about 5 minutes on each side.

Yields are as follows:
- 3 shrimp = 10 appetizer servings = 1 point
- 5 shrimp = 6 appetizer servings = 2 points
- 10 shrimp = 3 meal servings = 5 points
- 15 shrimp = 2 meal servings = 7 points

These little yummies were so good, I never missed the normally-sugar-sweet sauce that most restaurants serve with the shrimp. I did make a lovely side dish of Brown Rice Salad (3 points per 1c; also on the WW site) that paired beautifully.

I have to admit that, with 15 points left for dinner (half my daily), I indulged in the 15 shrimp dinner serving. After all of that shrimp, the rice salad, and the rest of my water, I was stuffed! Satiated! Satisfied!

This recipe will most certainly be in regular dinner rotation in this house. Y-U-M!

If you make this dish, please let me know! I'd love to hear how it turned out for you. :)

May all your cravings be healthy ones!

~H.

Day 42 - My Daily Motivation

I wasn't going to blog tonight, but I wanted to share this with you...

On the tiny shelf space at the back of my bathroom sink, I keep a small cutout of a horoscope I received back in 2006. I was at a crossroads with a number of issues when this popped up on my computer one day. It struck a chord in me so deep that I have never been without a copy of it since. I have always made sure to position it so that I could not avoid reading it. It is a daily reminder to me of how to approach each day, each challenge, each obstacle. No matter your "sign", I think it rings true...

Put your ambitions into action today, dear Pisces. The day's planetary aspects should find you feeling energetic and positive. Make the most of this by taking steps towards your goals. As you know, if you don't actively pursue things, nothing will happen. The years can pass by so quickly and you wouldn't want to be sitting on a rocker wondering, "what if?" Trust yourself, and do what it takes. Everything starts with one single step.

 ~H.

Day 41 - Challenge Updates on a Not-So-Good-Choices Day

Blech. That's my mood for today. It's a hopeful "blech" but a "blech" nonetheless.

Today was supposed to be a great day. I woke up feeling excited to start the Positive Effects Water Challenge and send in my first update for the Freedom Challenge. I knew I had a busy day ahead of me, but felt that everything would fall into place by bedtime.

Some days, you're the pigeon. Other days, you're the statue. Yeah, it was a statue kind of day.

I won't bore you with the details (involves a lot of running around, tantrums by my son, and the onset of PMS) because the real point of the day... the real lesson... is about the choices I made. I made poor choices and am now (and may tomorrow be) feeling the consequences.

While my choices were not what I consider to be "good" ones, I don't see the day as a failure. I have stopped looking at "bad" days or choices as failures. I don't use the term anymore when referring to moments such as those of today. I prefer to think of them as "life lessons"; situations that, when examined, can reveal problems to be solved, questions to be answered, and challenges to be overcome. This is a positive way to face what would have previously been a negative, guilt-ridden, "I give up. I'm no good. I'm a terrible person" type of inner self-destruction.

Ok... that's a bit deep. Let's simplify it...

Failure = negative and self-destructive attitude = giving up.
Life Lesson = positive and constructive = learning and moving forward.

Today was a life lesson, one you would think that someone who has been on this journey of weight loss and self-discovery would have figured out by now. But, then again, Einstein always seemed to forget to tie his shoes. Let's just call it a "Duh!" moment. So, what did happen? So simple...

I forgot to eat.

Well, I did eat a little, but I made poor choices... at least until dinner. So, I hope you'll forgive the rambling tonight. My brain is still a tad mushy.

Today, I learned the effects of what a small quantity of poor food choices and no healthy food can do to a body that has become accustomed to good food choices. In a nutshell... not pretty!

From 12noon until my very late dinner time (roughly 9pm), all I had to eat was:
- 1c Silk Almond Milk
- 1 small banana mini chip muffin (was starting to go bad too)
- 1 "small" soft serve twist ice cream cone (local place. Their small = normal medium serving)
- 1 small french fry
- 1 2-point Weight Watchers bar
- 12oz sugar free lemonade

No protein, no fruit or veggies, no water. By 7pm, I felt physically ill. By 8:30pm, I was speaking in monosyllabic words, barely able to think straight, much less plan or make any decisions. After my hubby and I finally made it home and sat down to eat our (healthy) dinner, he tried to start a conversation. All I could get out was "No talk. Eat."

Embarrassing? A little. Funny? Oh yeah! At least it is now that I've regained some semblance of civilized behavior back. Of course, it took 5oz baked chicken (no skin), a good-sized salad with 2Tbs lite dressing, 1/4c whole berry cranberry sauce, 1 small baked potato with salsa and fat free sour cream, 1 roll with 1tsp butter, 1 liter of diet cranberry grape, and some water. I'm currently working on a 1 liter container of the wonderful, clear, life-restoring liquid and should have it done by the time I turn out my light for the evening. I may be crawling out my bed a few times tonight to visit the bathroom, but it'll be worth it in the morning when I feel much better! I already am. :)

So, a couple of quick updates for my challenges...

Deb over at Deb Will Be FREE started the Freedom Challenge last week and I just loved the idea! (see Day 35 for my original post on this). Today is the first weekly check in and I'd like to share with you how it went. Below are my five goals for this challenge and my results from this past week:

1) To do some kind of organized exercise at least 4 days a week (gym, walking trails, video, etc.)
Unfortunately, I didn't make this goal. I knew this one was going to be difficult for me. I seem to be able to get 3 days in, but not 4. Not sure why, but I feel it's a matter of comfort more than anything. I seem to find a dozen excuses as to why I can't just do something as simple as a 20min. yoga video in the evening. This is the goal to work on for the next week.

2) To work on one project on my To Do List per week.
Not just one, but at least 7 or 8 were completed! Felt wonderful to cross items off the list!

3) To get a minimum of 6 hrs of sleep per night, especially during the week.
Completed 6 of 7 nights. Not a bad start for me with this goal.

4) To drink 2 liters (67oz) of plain water per day, regardless of any other drinks I imbibe.
This goal actually covers 2 challenges: the Freedom Challenge and the Positive Effects Water Challenge (PEWC) started by Kenz at All The Weigh and Sean Anderson at The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. Again, I completed 6 of 7 days. Today was #7 and you now know how that worked out. Still, tomorrow, water will be choice #1!

5) To have 4 new "food adventures" during the challenge time period. This could include trying a new restaurant, making a new recipe, trying never-before-used ingredients, etc.
Nothing new so far, but I left this one open on purpose. It gives me the chance to explore and take my time in choosing some amazing new foods or types of restaurants over the next few weeks.  I can't wait until I have some news to report on this goal.

Well, that's it for Day 41. I'm just about done with my liter of water, a quick trip to the potty, then it's lights out for me. Tomorrow's schedule is supposed to be much less hectic, but it's also Weigh In Day. We'll see what effects follow me into tomorrow. No matter what, I know I've learned the lessons of today and am looking forward to having a great week!

Sleep tight, my wonderful readers!

~H.

Day 38 - Cakes and Icing and Points, Oh My!

Have I ever told you that I'm considered officially crazy? No? Well, I am... at least by the ladies in my cake decorating classes. They think I'm first-rate bonkers.

This has been going on since Week 2 (back in April). To be precise, it was the week that the second class of Wilton Course 1 took place. We were working with the famous "buttercream" icing. This sweet concoction, while being tempting and yummy slathered on cake, is both deceiving with its ingredients and deadly to any weight loss effort. Let me explain...

First, the term "buttercream" is completely inaccurate. The only butter in the traditional buttercream icing is butter flavoring. It smells delicious, I'll admit, but has nothing to do with the pure creamy richness of real butter. Mmmm, butter... Now I want toast. Grrr! 

Add a little clear vanilla, a touch of water, and a full package of powdered sugar... yes, one whole bag of sugar... and you're almost there. 

The main base of this finger-licking, childhood dream-invoking substance is... vegetable shortening. Yes, shortening... Crisco... lard... greasy pure fat. 2 whole cups of the substance. This makes enough icing to fill the inside, ice the outside, and decorate a cake with some left over.

I know. Not fair. So good, yet so horrible and so very difficult to avoid. Many bakery cakes use this or a similar recipe, so birthday, graduation, retirement, and going away parties are even worse minefields that possibly previously thought. I mean, we know cake isn't healthy for us. We know frosting isn't great either. But just thinking about putting a big ol' scoop of sugared, flavored lard in our mouths can make a stomach turn. Blech!

Or so I keep telling myself...

It's icing! It's sooooo yummy! So sweet and delicious... and approximately 6 points a tablespoon.

6 points! Yikes! I can make a huge meal for less than that! A healthy, filling, satisfying, well-rounded meal full of fruit, veggies, lean protein, whole grains, and water or a zero calorie drink. Arg!

I knew that this journey wasn't going to be easy, but some moments are harder than others. This is one of those moments.

So, now you can see why, when I told the ladies in my classes that I was on Weight Watchers, they thought I was nuts for wanting to work with cakes and icing and all of the other goodies involved. "Too tempting," they said. "All things in moderation and a passion for the work" is what I stated back. I love decorating cakes, cupcakes, cookies... anything I can and now I can do it even better! 

I still eat cake, even with a little tiny bit of icing. I just do it sensibly; a small bite-size slice of cake with nearly all of the icing scraped off (still tastes just as delicious as a large slice) and I make sure I track the points in my tracker. No more hiding, ignoring, or lying about the eating or the tracking. I'm honest with myself and with others because I know that's the only way this journey can work for life... and I want this to work. I'm making this work!

I hope you'll forgive me for this, but I just love the way my latest cake turned out. A little show-n-tell if you will...

Lemon cake with lemon-flavored buttercream icing covered with purple fondant and 27 gum paste daisies (24 small & 3 large) and 3 gum paste leaves. The purple base the cake is sitting on is purple fondant with a flower inlay design. Cake trim is worked fondant and the strips the flowers are glued onto are a fondant-gum paste blend. Everything (except the cardboard under the cake) was handmade by me and is edible.

So, now I have this amazing cake just sitting on my dining room table (mostly out of sight) just begging me to eat it up. I'm ok with that. I know I'll have a few small slices while giving away pieces to everyone I know... maybe even people I don't know. Maybe anyone who drives by the house will suddenly find a plump piece of cake sitting on the seat next to them. I need to improve my pitching aim...

To me, baking is the purest blend of art and science. It's soooo me! Now that I have the skills, I will need to work on balancing my passion for being around sweets and my desire to live a healthy (and lower weight) life. I'm feeling pretty confident in finding that balance. :) 

Until next post, dear friends and readers, I wish you sweet dreams!

~H.

Day 35 - A New Challenge

Hi everyone!

I need to get to bed here pretty quick, but I wanted to share something I'm doing over the next few weeks. It's a brilliant challenge put together by the wonderful Deb over at Deb Will Be Free. It's called the Freedom Challenge and I -love- it! Everyone participating made a list of goals to work towards over the next four weeks and I just wanted to share my list with you. As you will see, it's why I need to get to bed asap. :)

My goals:

1) To do some kind of organized exercise at least 4 days a week (gym, walking trails, video, etc.)

2) To work on one project on my To Do List per week.

3) To get a minimum of 6 hrs of sleep per night, especially during the week.

4) To drink 2 liters (67oz) of plain water per day, regardless of any other drinks I imbibe.

5) To have 4 new "food adventures" during the challenge time period. This could include trying a new restaurant, making a new recipe, trying never-before-used ingredients, etc.


Today, I did complete #1, #2, and #4. We'll see about #3 (depends on when my son gets up in the morning).  I'm saving #5 for the my trip to the City Market on Friday. So far, so good!

Deb posted a saying on her blog a couple of days ago that is really resonating with me... "Progress, not perfection." I have always been a bit of a perfectionist, to a fault at times. I have quit so many positive things in my life because of it. One of the greatest lessons I have learned on this weight loss journey (and life journey in general) is that any journey should be paid great attention to, but not to the point of being miserable or so stressed out, I want to run away and become a hermit. Life is to be savored, to be enjoyed, to be relished and each step I make these days is to do just that, imperfections and all.

A huge thank you to Deb for her continued inspiration and to all of you for reading!

~H.

Update: Made #3 (6hrs of sleep). Son was kind enough to sleep in until almost 8am! Woohoo!

Day 33 - Happy 4th of July Wishes and Plans

Mmmm, I just finished a very unusual breakfast... french bread pizza. Yes, you heard me... pizza for breakfast. Two large pieces with lots of veggies and fat free cheese for 10 points. Different? Yes, but a strategic move on my part.

I know I will be facing several temptations today at my friends' barbecue, so I wanted to satisfy some of those cravings while I could control the ingredients. That and I had a lovely loaf of french bread to use up. So, using lots of fresh cut veggies, fat free mozzarella cheese and low fat pizza sauce, I made a wonderful low fat, sensible, craving-satisfying meal. Add in some almond milk, cantaloupe and Crystal Light ice tea and I'm feeling full and ready to go!

Bring on the burgers! Bring on the chips! Bring on the mayo-laden salads! I'm ready for your holiday calories, your high fat grams, your sugary sweets. I am not intimidated. I am not scared. I am in control and ready to say 'No, thank you.' I have my swimsuit and I plan on using it. I'll splash and play with my hubby and son in the cool water as I rack up some activity points. I will run and laugh and walk and play with my family and friends. I will enjoy the day and not allow the doubts and negative thoughts to muddle my enjoyment of it.

I have a gorgeous swimsuit that fits better this year than last and I look good in it!

I have incredibly supportive friends and family who like me just the way I am!

I have you, my fantastic readers, cheering me on!

I am blessed, happy, in control, and grateful!

Have a wonderful July 4th everyone. :)   Holiday? Bah! Bring it on!

~H.

Day 31 - No, Your Eyes Do Not Deceive You

I'm betting your wondering if you missed a post somewhere or maybe you're wondering if I mis-counted my days. I can safely say "No" to each of your inquiries. Yesterday, I was busy from 6:30am until 1am and chose to catch some much needed sleep instead of posting. In fact, after careful thought, I have decided to make some changes to my daily posts... as in they may not be daily anymore.

I love writing this blog! The insights I have discovered and the peace I have found at the end of every day by just writing this has made a world of difference in so many aspects of my life. It would take several posts for me to convey just how much. Needless to say, it wasn't an easy decision to come to, but one I feel is important. I cannot do it all... not yet... and having a good night's sleep is so very important from my basic functioning to making great choices to excelling at whatever I choose to put my mind to. I need sleep and suffer greatly when I don't get it. Pretty simple stuff really.

So, I am choosing to sleep rather than post every day. Now, don't expect the bi-monthly update (unless things go very badly). I will be posting often... quite often. I like it too much not too. :) But, I can't guarantee that it will happen every day. I have a million things to do on a regular daily/weekly basis plus a number of special events coming up in the next month; many of which I am coordinating. Talk about busy! Whew!

As of this week, I am also going to be arranging a doctor's visit. It seems I have injured my heel to the point that it's difficult to walk, much less run. I've tried resting an extra day or two, but after tonight's partial workout (walk/ran half of a Couch-to-5K interval set), I'm sure there's more going on.

It's incredibly frustrating to be sidelined at such a positive time. My workouts have been wonderful, both in helping with my weight loss and with my mental outlook. I'm looking better, feeling great, and really starting to enjoy pushing myself. Ugh, this feels like a big roadblock, but it's only because I don't want to be patient. I want to keep the momentum going and I may even be a bit scared that if I don't, it won't be there later. But now, just stating that out loud, I feel better because I know when I am able to return to running that I'll be in an even better position to succeed! I'm just not good at the waiting part. :)

So, for now, I'll keep walking when I can, taking care not to push the injury. I am in no way giving up! Not anymore! I am done with the excuses. This is for life... my life... and I'm not backing down again.

As always, I must thank you, dear readers, for your continued support. Means the world to me! I will be "talking" to you soon... oh so soon! :)

~H.