Day 10 - Fan Girl and MacFarlane

Wow, where to start tonight? I've just spent the last couple of hours reading through blog posts on a few different sites, gaining tidbits of insight and whispers of wisdom in the process. I am rewriting the script my inner "little voice" has been reading from for so many years. The old negative lines are slowly being replaced with more positive lines, woven together from many sources, then edited as needed.

I look back 10 days ago and see Sir Patrick Stewart (as Capt. Jean Luc Picard of course) stating one of his famous quotes from Star Trek NG: "The line must be drawn here! This far, no farther!" That's pretty much how I felt when I started this line of blogging. I had to do something! I was at a loss, in a shambles, but knowing that I would not, could not allow my self-destructive choices to continue. I needed to take a stand and fight. But first, I had to make one small, but massively important tweak in my system. I needed to change my internal dialogue. I somehow knew that that would make all the difference.

Enter a singular blog: (http://losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/) which led to a few other blogs which has led to me blogging about my own journey. In 10 short days, my inner voice has gone from heavily leaning towards the negative to very much leaning towards the positive. I see it like a scene from the movie Titan A.E...

The main character, Cale, has to find a way to power the ship, Titan. He figures out a way to channel the baddies, the Drej (made from pure energy) through the Titan's power system, thus creating the power needed for the Titan to do its work: making a new Earth-like planet. Not a small task to say the least. In other words, Cale took the negative energy (baddies trying to kill him) and turned it into positive energy (a new Earth for all of the human survivors to live on.) No matter what was thrown at him in that final battle, he refused to give up until he accomplished his goal. Not a bad lesson to take away from an animated "kids" movie.

At a time when I couldn't form the proper story/soundtrack in my mind, I discovered others whose words spoke to me, found the common threads in their tales, and let those words and images replace my broken pieces until my mind began to generate its own. Now, every night, I read, then write. I read the positive, inspiring tales of others, allowing their words to touch my mind and impart their lessons. I then turn to this page and begin writing my own tale; my own life lessons spilling forth from my brain, through my fingertips, and onto this page. What do you take away from this? Only you can know the answer. I hope it's positive, whatever the answer is.

I bet your now asking "What's with the MacFarlane reference in the title?" Tonight, I got to the gym with about 65 minutes left until they closed. Before, I would have used that as a perfect excuse not to workout. Not tonight! I got up on the treadmill, set the timer for 55 minutes, then set my speed to match it. Best time for me walking 5K? 60 minutes flat + 5 minute cooldown. I knew I wouldn't have enough time, so I walked and walked hard! In the end, I walked 5K in 56 minutes + 3 minute cooldown. Shaved 4 minutes off my best time! What helped? TBS was playing the Family Guy spoof on Star Wars called "Blue Harvest." Soooooooo funny!! I think everyone was giving me funny looks as I kept breaking out into giggles. Still, made the hour speed by. Coolest workout so far! Oh, and I was the last patron out the door of the gym. How's that for dedication? :)

Oh yeah, fan girl here got a comment from -two- of her inspirations. Woohoo! They like me! They really like me! *cough* Em... er... Sorry about going all Sally Field there for a sec, but it was -very cool- to see those comments attached to my last post. Guess it's time to hang up some of my hang-ups now.

Well, actually, it's time for me to get some sleep. At least tomorrow is Friday, which means I get to sleep in. Yay! G'night everyone. May your dreams be peaceful and your days happy!