Halfway there!

Wow, can you believe January is already half over?! Christmas seems like a dream long past and any New Year's antics are in the history books. Resolutions? Once seeming fresh and new may now be just broken bits of failure lingering in the corners of your mind.

I hope not.

I hope everyone who decided that this was the year they were going to change their life in a healthy way are still going strong. Unfortunately, many have already given up, deciding they just can't do it, just can't make it work. Their list of excuses is long and familiar... No time to workout, no money for exercise equipment/gym membership, can't make healthy meals because the family won't like/eat them...

no, no, no... can't, can't, can't...

I know these well and so many more. For 25 years (starting in my teens), every year I swore "This year's gonna be different!" I talked, I planned, I shopped, I signed... I did everything but make a 100% commitment and put the work and effort into making the change happen. So, nothing happened. I felt like I had failed... again... and then left the pieces in the corners of my mind until the holidays rolled around. Then the guilt would start, the "If I had only done something earlier in the year. If only I hadn't given up. If only..." Soon, New Year's would be upon me and the cycle would start all over again.

Year after year... failure after failure...

So what happened in 2009 that broke me out of this vicious cycle? To be honest, I'm not sure. Best guess? I think becoming a mom was a large part of it. Here I was with a very active 1 1/2 year old who's favorite activity was to run. I couldn't run. I had no energy, every joint hurt and I lacked any kind of lung capacity. I was a blob of person who couldn't find a way to play with her son. I hated that with a passion! It led me to examine what had worked (in terms of losing weight) in the past for me and what hadn't. I began to see that my "failures" were actually lessons to learn from. So, what did I need to be successful?

In the end, I decided to give an organized program a try; not because I felt you can't lose weight without one, but I knew that I needed the support of a group, of a leader, and the accountability that comes with a plan. But, I didn't want to live off of prepackaged meals or restrictive food plans. I wanted the responsibility of learning how to live a healthy lifestyle, so that when I had lost the weight, I'd be prepared to continue living my life in a healthy way. I needed the framework, but it was up to me to make the commitment, put in the time and effort, and to stay accountable to those that were there to help me.

So, I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting in May 2009. I found my framework. I found my groups and leaders to be accountable to, and I made the commitment to never give up on myself. No matter what.

Now it's halfway through January 2011 and, after many slips, many difficult stretches of times, I am still here; still committed to finding my way to a healthier lifestyle. I have branched out into blogging, finding many others who are on their own journeys, supporting, laughing, crying together. I have found a comfortable and supportive gym (my local YMCA)  and have been taking full advantage of their programs and facilities. I've even rediscovered my joy of swimming there! I'm finding out that healthy eating doesn't mean tiny portions or being restrictive. I can eat anything I want. I just need to be mindful in my eating and do so in moderation.

Most important, I know... I believe... that I can do this! I have never been so sure of this in my whole life. Having that belief carries me through the "I don't wanna..." "I don't feel like it..." "I wanna (do something unhealthy)" and let's me know that even when I get off-track that it's ok. I'm worth the time, the effort, the struggle and that, while there's no starting over, there's always another opportunity to make the next choice a healthy one.

I hope your 2011 is going well... your resolutions going strong... your faith in yourself never wavering... one choice at a time!