Day 74 - Getting Back On Plan... Tomorrow

Back... I'm back... I'm back in the saddle again... Well, I will be as of tomorrow. No, really, I will be. I need to be. The pizza (3/4 of a medium veggie) demands it! My inner voice demands it! My scale demands it!

*sigh*

Overall, my vacation choices were not horrific and I walked everywhere... miles and miles. I'm not sure what the results were as Tuesday's Weigh In didn't happen. Nope, not this week. One car died completely and the other was in use. Between the cars and my migraine, I did not make it to my regular meeting. I'm hoping for a good showing this coming Tuesday, but we'll see.

My choices this past week have not been the best, especially tonight. I recognize the pattern of emotional eating I have been caught in for the last few weeks and I'm having to dig deep to emerge from it. Not easy... not easy at all. I want the turmoil, the uncertainty, the fear... I want it all to go away. I am so tired of fighting for every little scrap and shred of goodness for my family to keep us afloat; of finally getting to a point where I think I can breathe again and start trying to get ahead, only to have a shoe or three drop. Tired of the 1-ton weight dropping from the sky to crush everything I've worked for. I'm so tired of being scared all the time...

Wow... that was a bit unexpected. I try not to share this negativity here. I usually try to focus on the positives, to lift my spirits at the end of a hard day. But, this blog is more than just about weight loss. It is about my life and this is a part of it, so I will let it stay in print.

I know that my days of positive choices have not ended. They are only beginning... once again. I will start again tomorrow, knowing that it will happen. I am not perfect and that's ok. :)

~Heather