The love/hate relationship most of us have with exercise is undeniably one of the most frustrating aspects to the whole 'lose weight/get healthy' process. I know that, for me, it most certainly is! I have never been able to understand how something I know is so good for me... physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically... is just so hard to motivate myself to do. Although I will admit that my current streak of exercise success (4-5 days per week for the last nearly 6 weeks) has seemed to come easily, it has even taken me by surprise. I have known for many years... since my last great healthy streak in 2003... that having certain conditional circumstances in my life makes for a much easier path to exercise. Basically, if I have a set time each day that is my own and circumstances get my butt out of the house for that time, then there's a good chance I'll get to the gym. Or, in even simpler terms... If I can get to the door of the gym, a workout of some kind will happen.
So why don't I just throw a workout video into the ol' VCR and save the gas? Three words... Lack. Of. Motivation. For some reason, I cannot seem to dredge up any motivation to make this work. I've tried. I've failed. I've kicked myself about it for years. I've asked the "What's wrong with me?!" question over and over. It seems like the easiest thing to do; take a walk, put on a video, click on a quick 10min workout program on cable... all tried-and-true ways that wouldn't involve paying a dime. But, for whatever reason, I am not a home exerciser and I've had to come to terms with that fact. It hasn't been easy and I'm still not willing to donate my tapes to any local charities or sell them on eBay. I think I will keep my collection (which includes several Richard Simmons items) around, if for no other reason than to remind myself that, although I don't use them, I understand what they represent; my past journeys, the try-and-fail-and-learn moments, my continued commitment to achieving success, and that should I ever need them, they'll be there for me. For now, I know my best course of action is to continue being a gym rat. I like the success and from the feel of my jeans, it likes me back.
Today, I had a fabulous workout! I had my next Y Coach Assist follow-up meeting first thing, then went on to sweat up a storm for 35min on the elliptical, followed by 75min lifting weights on the Nautilus circuit. As I eat very little in the morning, I followed up the workout with a yummy breakfast of oatmeal with a little wheat germ, flax seed, brown sugar, trail mix (sunflower seeds, almonds, dried cranberries) and rice milk & 12oz of fresh-squeezed carrot, apple, and orange juice. Talk about clean living (and so delicious)!!! As my mother-in-law was babysitting my son (they spend one afternoon each week together for some grandma-grandson time), I have had the luxury of the morning to myself, including time to blog. Talk about a gift! I was able to lose myself in my energy-filled iPod playlist, think about whatever came to mind, and revel in the post-workout weariness while writing and eating an incredibly healthy meal. I am blessed and it feels so good! :)
Tomorrow, it's back into the gym for the low impact "aerobics" class (more like low impact kickboxing, which is why I love it so much) and then back to the daily grind (with a holiday twist, of course). I love knowing that exercise is a part of my daily life and will be holding onto this as long as I'm able to. Who knows what the future holds. For today, I will embrace the order in my daily chaos and welcome the weariness in my limbs.
Of course, I'm gonna head home now and take a nap. I'm a gym rat, not a fanatic. ;)
(((Holiday hugs))) to you all!
~Heather
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